My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years at the writing of this post! And, boy oh boy, are we gonna celebrate when we hit that milestone!!!
I am happy to say that we have an AWESOME marriage! You can read about how we met on my About page – scroll down to *Her Story* – I even updated it for you. While I definitely don’t claim to have *arrived* or to know everything about marriage, I am very thankful for what I have learned to keep a marriage not only intact but also thriving.
One of those lessons is to just let stuff go. My husband is the best at this but I am learning from his example. Another way to say this would be to say, *Don’t take everything personally.*
We had a situation recently where this practice really came to light and it hit me that this was a key to our success as a married couple. We were late for church … again. I hate being late – he hates being late. We had been up super late the night before so everyone was extra tired – read, the kids were super whiny and aggravating each other.
He finally looked at me and asked, “Is it even worth it to go at this point? We are going to be totally late.” I felt overwhelmed and crabby – not go?! That’s so not what I wanted but I really felt embarrassed going in so late. So, I snapped at him. He snapped back. I wouldn’t call it a fight – we weren’t arguing or yelling at each other, just tense and aggravated with the situation.
We decided to go anyway – to us, church is one of the best places to be, even if we are late. As we were driving the 40 minutes to get there, we chatted about different things, laughing and talking. That’s when it dawned on me – just a little while earlier, we had communicated tension and frustration.
Now, it seems like a silly little situation. But, haven’t you heard of folks fighting and yelling at each other for far less? I have.
What did we both do? We let. it. go. We did not stay frustrated about leaving the house so very late. No built up emotions for the next time tension came along. No pent up frustrations that could cause us to lash out later for apparently no reason. No future moments of happiness lost stewing about this.
Maybe you have several years built up of letting things bother you. Maybe you have a very good memory for all the times something was said or done that hurt you. Guess who it is still hurting? You. And those around you. But, certainly you suffer the most.
Let it go. It sounds so simplistic and yet, when you really think about doing it, so very very hard at the same time. I’ve heard all the excuses – as a matter of fact, I have said them to myself when I wanted to hang on to some hurt or misdeed – you just don’t know what he did, you just don’t understand how much that hurt.
Listen – I am this way now because I have been there. It is sooooooo worth it to let it go – let go of your right for revenge, let go of your hurt feelings, let go of being right, let go of your pride. You open the door for the Lord to heal you – He can’t put anything in your hand if you are clenching something else with such a tight fist.
Just try it. Try it with the smallest thing. Acknowledge the fact that you are upset – and then let it go. I bet you will be surprised at how much better you feel in just a short time.